I sat yesterday evening, with a cup of hot tea in my hand, and thought about a topic that occupies many couples.
Relationship communication.
Once, during a meeting with an experienced couples counselor, she said to me:
“Good communication is the key to every successful relationship.”
I answered her: “But how do you achieve such communication that will maintain calm and love over time?”
She smiled calmly. “The secret is in the balance, and in genuine listening.”
And suddenly I had a realization.
The best communication is the one that allows space for both sides,
one that can be sustained throughout life.
We are not robots.
Open communication is an amazing tool, but it does not have to be perfect all the time.
It allows us to understand where the misunderstanding is created, and why we feel distance.
Want an example? Here is a small story.
Beni and Orit came to me, after a not easy period.
During the conversation, Orit said: “I constantly tell him how my day was, but he does not share anything.”
I asked Beni: “You do not share because you do not want to, or because you do not know how?”
He answered: “I am simply tired at the end of the day, and I do not know what to say.”
I asked them to try something simple:
Instead of talking about the day, each one will say one small thing that excites them or bothers them.
The result?
Within two weeks, they felt a stronger connection. Orit felt that she was being listened to, and Beni felt less “pressured” to share.
The conclusion:
Listening and sharing are like counting calories in a relationship –
tools that allow us to identify where the relationship is weakening, and to improve it.
But they are not everything.
In the end, a good relationship requires flexibility, patience, and a lot of love.
So maybe we will use tools like listening and sharing to learn about each other,
but we will remember – they are only tools.
The important thing is how we choose to use them.
What do you think?
